Demonic Machines

Being neurodivergent can sometimes mean you excel in certain fields. For me, however, it makes running a business nearly impossible.

I don’t think I’m stupid. Quite the contrary. I did teach myself how to build pedals while I was getting my MFA in writing. That wasn’t easy and I sucked at it for a long time. Now, running a business is my biggest foe.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the joy that I can bring people with my pedals, designing pedals, and doing the artwork. But, as someone living with depression and ADHD, building ten pedals in a day AND making that call with that supplier who you talked to a month ago can be too much for one day. Unfortunately for me, I often find myself needing to do both things in the same day to effectively run my business.

I don’t run a business that’s large enough to have other full-time employees. I appreciate the help that I get and I need them to work full time, but I don’t know if I can overcome the barrier to my being able to afford it. It’s important to me that I pay my workers a living wage when they work for me, and the current state of… things… makes that increasingly difficult.

Hopefully one of my pedals will REALLY catch on. The Homunculus/HTR have been mildly successful. Josh and the gang at JHS Pedals were generous enough to feature the Corn Buffer, as well as a few other pedals. This helped boost their popularity some. Still, I don’t understand why anyone would get excited over a buffer.

Maybe it’s just because I build the things. Am I a god? Is running a business some cosmic punishment given to me by some Eldritch being? Couldn’t I just build pedals and be done with it? Why do I have to create “content” as well? Maybe I don’t feel like being in front of my camera after sweating all day over a soldering iron.

Anyway, I’ll leave you with this: